I saw an acquaintance from high school today who told me he was getting married.
I said, "Cool."
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
i'm not your last girlfriend
Movies about men who have never loved until the met Penelope Cruz make me want to eat a gun. The reason serial daters are continually single is not because they have never met Penelope Cruz, and the reason they're about to run out on you after your second date, before they learn your middle name, is not because you are not her. It's because they suck.
I don't want a long-term relationship either; I have to watch two TV shows at once. I don't want you to call me all the time and tell me what you're eating for lunch and what color socks you're wearing; my phone will probably be lost between the couch cushions anyway, and I'd rather not bother to look for it when you call. I just want you to call me occasionally and ask me to have a beer with you or go on a bike ride with you or something. I want you to think of something really stupid and ridiculous and then do that with me. I'll even hang out with your friends. I get bored too. Maybe we'll kiss, maybe we won't. I don't care. I've seen Sex and the City, but I'm not looking for anyone to buy my Manolos right now. I just want you to let me know what's up.
Call me and lie to me. Tell me you had an okay time last night, but you're probably not going to call me again. Let me know you'll call me from month to month, when you're bored too. Call me and tell me straight up that you just want to be my friend and do friend things with me, which I find wildly more entertaining anyway. I don't care if you're a serial dater. I just want to hang out. Maybe the thing you're running from all the time is exactly what you keep jumping from girl to girl to find, every time. Maybe you are running away from girls who just want to have fun with you because you're too scared they're picturing the ring you're not going to stick on their fingers.
I'm not going to try to change you and I"m not going to try to fall in love with you. Maybe I will, but I probably won't. I am not crazy enough to think that i have the ability to do anything that dozens of other women before me have been unable to do. I'm not like your last girlfriend. I already know you're an asshole.
I don't want a long-term relationship either; I have to watch two TV shows at once. I don't want you to call me all the time and tell me what you're eating for lunch and what color socks you're wearing; my phone will probably be lost between the couch cushions anyway, and I'd rather not bother to look for it when you call. I just want you to call me occasionally and ask me to have a beer with you or go on a bike ride with you or something. I want you to think of something really stupid and ridiculous and then do that with me. I'll even hang out with your friends. I get bored too. Maybe we'll kiss, maybe we won't. I don't care. I've seen Sex and the City, but I'm not looking for anyone to buy my Manolos right now. I just want you to let me know what's up.
Call me and lie to me. Tell me you had an okay time last night, but you're probably not going to call me again. Let me know you'll call me from month to month, when you're bored too. Call me and tell me straight up that you just want to be my friend and do friend things with me, which I find wildly more entertaining anyway. I don't care if you're a serial dater. I just want to hang out. Maybe the thing you're running from all the time is exactly what you keep jumping from girl to girl to find, every time. Maybe you are running away from girls who just want to have fun with you because you're too scared they're picturing the ring you're not going to stick on their fingers.
I'm not going to try to change you and I"m not going to try to fall in love with you. Maybe I will, but I probably won't. I am not crazy enough to think that i have the ability to do anything that dozens of other women before me have been unable to do. I'm not like your last girlfriend. I already know you're an asshole.
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