Juuuust walked past this dude I know, sitting inside a bar, probably having a nice time, while I was carrying a 12-pack of extra-soft toilet paper on my way home from Walgreens. At the time of the incident, I was carrying the toilet paper over my head, washer woman-style, because it was so large that it was awkward to hold. The toilet paper was probably the only part of me that was directly visible from the window. I looked like an eight-year-old with diarrhea. The only other item I saw fit to purchase at Walgreen's was a sink-scrubbing sponge, making me look like someone in great need of cleaning up. Or maybe just particularly concerned about cleanliness, especially wiping? I was traumatized even before the incident, because the fifty-five year old man in front of me at Walgreen's on Brady Street at 8:45 p.m. was purchasing T-Gel shampoo and KY Jelly. AHHHH THAT SHOULD BE MAIL ORDER ONLY. I have no desire to know what you're getting up to after you scrub your dandruff out, old man.
