As a way to amass quarters for the laundry machines in my basement, I used a vending machine for the first time since I spent summers hanging out a the community pool, where the vending machine dispensed snacks that. at the time, didn't represent empty calories, but only deliciousness. But now, I need some way to take one for the team my smelly heap of a laundry basket and I represent, and literally the only way that has presented itself is using dollar bills to purchase snacks archaically priced in multiples of 25. This way, I can get something instead of just exchanging money for quarters, and I can do it without going somewhere I would never go anyway, like a bank. It also gives me the opportunity to eat a Twix bar for the first time since 1998, which was the last time my mom allowed my grandmother to buy things that made us fat for my brother and me. Exciting day at the office, today is.