Wednesday, April 14, 2010

it is so i could hit you if i didn't want you here

Last night, my ex-boyfriend came over and tried to convince me that hooking up with him was a mutually beneficial, good idea. There are a lot of funny stories I could relate about the FIVE HOURS he spent here. (While we’re at it, five hours? Does it take anyone that long to try to lose their virginity anymore? I kind of thought it was an in-and-out sort of arrangement.) This is the least damning of them. I keep a hammer on the windowsill next to my bed, you know, just in case. So in the middle of his little speech, he picks it up and asks me, “Why do you keep this here?” I thought for a little while, because I suppose this is part of what people mean when they say I have a threatening exterior, but then I realized. This is probably exactly why I keep it here. But instead I said, “You know, in case someone breaks in.” I’ve been defining “break-in” loosely these days. I’ve been told I’m unfriendly.