Tuesday, April 13, 2010

you & i both know it's a negative thing

Today I dressed kind of like a stripper for work. At least, on the bottom half, and when covered up by a pleather jacket on top, I'm really not doing myself any favors. It doesn't help that I often suspect that people wonder where I'm going as I'm short-cutting it through parking lots at eight in the morning - like they've got a sneaking suspicion that I'm walking from work rather than to work. Now that I'm at work, I'm feeling sort of weird about it, like maybe I should have just gone with opaque tights instead of these lacy ones, and maybe it would have been less of a faux-pas to wear a wool pencil skirt in April than it would have been to dress like a stripper.

This morning, in general, was a struggle, so I suppose I should give myself credit even in the least bit for rolling (when I say this, it's literal, I do roll - I don't think people understand that) out of bed, slapping some clothes on my used-and-abused body, and making it to work in the a.m. I also had to allot time for a spontaneous activity, because usually everything that I force myself to do in the morning is something that I absolutely have to do to make it out the door while fully clothed (sometimes this is flexible; I've thrown tops into my purse and walked to work wearing pajamas under my coat on two occasions). This morning I had to take out the trash. All the trashes in my apartment, to be exact.

This is why:
It would be painfully clear to anyone who masochistically decided to sift through my recent addition to the dumpster that I ate my feelings this weekend. Not only would they be able to determine that I'd done this, but they would also probably be able to determine the cause of the eating spree. They would pretty much be able to tell why I ate five pounds of feelings onto my body. And I deserve it. I deserve five pounds of extra suffering for my absolutely deplorable behavior.

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