My life is like some sick adult joke lately that more reminds me of a cross between high school, the most boring parts of college, and some weird alternate universe where I am responsible.
My body has started to freak out, too, when I do normal things that I always used to do, like drink 40's. Last night, in what didn’t even seem like a mildly good idea at the time, I drank two steel reserve 40’s because they were so ridiculously cheap at the backdoor liquor store we went to, that had to buy 2 AND a pack of gum to bring my total up to five dollars to allow me to pay with a credit card. I am really glad I didn’t buy three, but I can’t even think about that right now. It is after I do things like this that I realize why I am, and probably always will be, very single. Would you honestly want to date a girl who even considers drinking two steel reserve 40's unless you live in a double-wide? Probably not. Anyway, after drinking what would have been considered a "pre-game" in college (although we never used that term, it was more like drinking and then going somewhere else to do more drinking), I puked in my bed this weekend. Disgusting. Really gross. No excuse for any person who can legally drink to do this. But I did. And then I woke up to the war going on inside my head between the remaining steel reserve trying to exit my system apparently through my temples, and the rest of my head.
Oh also there was someone else in my bed while I was completely relieving my self in it. Yep. Seriously. Why am I still alive? He made up some polite excuse about having to wake up early in the morning, but even if that was true, why are people still nice to me? Not only was I lying in a pool of my own vomit, I am a drunken mess who cannot hold my liquor in an adult way by any stretch of the imagination, I make poor choices almost constantly, I don't shower every day, and I refuse to vacuum the leaves off the floor of my apartment because they blew in through the window and I didn't put them there. Seriously, I don't deserve nice things, and I certainly don't deserve people putting up with my less than acceptable behavior. It would just make things a lot easier for me if people treated me the way parents treated children and not let me have any privileges until my behavior improves.
